a scary thought...and true love

hello! well, today marks the second day in a row that i won't be surfing.=( and...looking ahead through the rest of the week...i probably won't surf again until saturday morning.=( but that's alright, because i'll get to surf with Sandi!=) yup! she's coming back to oahu this weekend!!=) i am absolutely stoked!

so...due to the lack of surfing...i have decided to write about something that has nothing to do with surfing. it happend this past Sunday afternoon/evening...

so, i was at a super bowl party at ryan's house up in royal summit. ...beautiful home, georgous view, wonderful people (the MGMC crew), and ono food! they had catered the party...hawaiian food!! i was running on some serious hawaiian time due to an earlier surf session, so the chicken long rice, kalua pig, and laulau were all gone.=( not to worry...ryan hooked me up with some squid luau, poi, lomi lomi salmon, limu ahi poke, haupia, and some dark purple sweet potato. it was ono!

but a few minutes later i began to experience some uneasiness in my stomach. then my mouth began to tingle. the uneasiness in my stomach turned into a sharp pain...and all of a sudden the game was not so important. i suddenly found myself in a detached state...as if everything around me was taking place in slow motion. then my skin began to tingle. i thought about leaving, but soon the stomach pain subsided. i was breathing eaiser, andi decided to stay. after the game i began to feel "weird" again and decided not to hang around. i just wanted to get home.

the drive home was much warmer than sitting in the shaded indoors of ryan's house and my skin began to get itchy...really itchy. i tried not to scratch, but soon it was unbearable. my entire body, from my scalp to the bottom of my feet began to burn with an itchy, tingling sensation. the scratching resulted in an outbreak of hives accross my body. my driving was not compromised by my scratching and the sight of the hives didn't scare me. what began to concern me was that i was having a hard time breathing. later, sarah would tell me that the swelling of muscles, induced by the allergic reaction (hives), includes the swelling of the trachea...my throat.

as i drove past pearl ridge on kam highway i called sarah. she had just finished a surf session and was heading to eat with some friends. she could tell by my slowness of speech and the shake in my voice that something was wrong. i told her what happend. she was very calm and confident as she talked to me on the phone. she said she was going to stay on the phone until i got home safely. as i drove she told me what to do on my arriving home. she told me to take an antihistimine with lots of water, then soak in a cold bath to ease the itching and swelling.

when i got home it was only about 6:00pm but my parents were sleeping. probably a sunday afternoon nap. i decided not to wake them. i got the benadryl and took it with a glass of water. then i made my way to the bathroom and began to prepare the bath. almost instantly i got lightheaded and the room began to close in on me. fully clothed, i staggered to my parent's room. i just wanted to let them know i was in the house in case i passed out. i knocked on their door and slumped to the ground, unable to stand on my own strength and barely able to talk. my mom came to the door. she saw me on the ground and asked me what happend. her voice was concerned but not panicked. she went to go alert my dad that something was wrong with me.

immediately i felt nauseous. i struggled to pick myself up and make my way to the bathroom. i didn't reach the toilet in time. vomit flew through the air and fell to the tile floor with a splash. i moved forward and was able to direct the next few body-jolting spews into the toilet. i stood there, staring into the toilet, spitting and gasping for air. i didn't move. i couldn't move. above the loud static in my skull, i think i faintly heard my dad asking me if i need to go to the hospital. i tried to answer...but i found no strength to speak. all i could hear was the loud, raspy sound of my slow and methodical breathing. at that moment i was good for absolutely nothing. couldn't talk. couldn't move. couldn't help my parents as they moved to get rags and buckets and a mop. they worked silently. patiently. lovingly.

i felt helpless. frozen in a moment where a battle was being fought in my mind. the battle for my pride. i didn't want my parents cleaning up MY vomit! i was a moment away from shame...frustration...pity... ...then God saved me. i thank God that He allowed me to loose that battle so quickly. ...not easily...but quickly. is i let go of myself and my initial tendencies i felt peace, love, the kindess of my parents...and of GOD. and i recieved it! (for those of you who don't know me...that's a BIG deal!) and it was so liberating...so refreshing...so right.

soon, i was able to get some words out through whisppers. i thanked them. then i told them i would mop up the rest. my dad told me to take a shower...get cleaned up...and he would finish it. as i showered, i resolved that my dad would NOT finish it. ...I would. i told myself that i was strong enough again (as i held onto the shower walls for support=). i could do it. but as i slowly finished my shower, dried off and got dressed, i realized that i might not have the strength after all. my dad was all set with a steaming bucket of hot water spiked with a dash of citrus scented pine sol...mop in hand.

i was still in a daze and plopped down on the carpet just outside the bathroom door. sarah had just come home and went straight to work as "nurse." she brought me a glass of water and another antihistimine pill to help with the swelling and itchiness in my legs. the hives on my upper body had gone down significantly. my legs, however, were still textured with the bumpy hives. i took the medicine with the whole glass of water, just as sarah instructed me to. my mom sat silently typing on the computer. all the while my dad mopped without a sound. he was not angry, or frustrated, or dissapointed. "that's what families are for," he eventually uttered with a faint smile on his lips. that's what families are for...

i share that story on the week preceeding the biggest [marketed] "love-day" in America...valentines day. (the biggest [unrivaled] "love-days" in my book are Christmas, Good Friday, and Easter.) this is a very special valentines day for me because it's the first valentines day in my life that i will be celebrating with a very special woman.=)

in the shaddow of all the boisterous gifts of love (flowers, candy, stuffed fluffy animals, romantic dinners, etc.) that we are conditioned to believe express our deepest affection for another, my earthly father has given me a priceless, and i believe biblical, reminder--one i don't think i'll ever forget--of what true love is. it is giving joyfully and willingly of oneself in order to find yourself doing the dirty, and seemingly insignificant things in life, in order to communicate eternal value and worth to one[s] that you have bound yourself to before God alone. my father's single act of love has spoken volumes to me and left a permanent mark upon me. i can only hope that i will carry this kind of love one day into my marriage. thanks dad!=) until next time...

p.s. i didn't mention anything about the "sacry thought." it's only that i might be allergic to seafood.=( i LOVE seafood!!